HOW CURLY IS YOUR HAIR?

So, you call yourself a Kalanadian? A Kalanadian with curly hair of all things. Well let's see. Now, keep in mind you do not have to have curly hair literally in order to have curly hair. This can also be spiritual, since we do know about those of you out there who have uncontrollable hair and no amount of shampoo or straightener - or in this case curler - can fix that. So not to worry. Oh and don't forget - having curly hair means that you're in the flow with your fellow curly haired people! This means the most important one - the ambassador to curly haired people everywhere; to the world of curls - Kalan Porter. Now, on with the festivities!

1. What colour does your hair have to be to be curly?
a. Blonde! Like hello, what else is Kalan?
b. Common misunderstanding. Kalan is a BRUNETTE. Brunettes rock!
c. Actually no, when he steps in the sun, it’s RED! Redheads rock the world!
d. I think we should all have streaks in our hair of each colour. That’s how you get the ultimate bounce! After all, the world is a rainbow (of hair)!

2. How do you get the ultimate bounce?
a. L’Oreal
b. Apply, lather, rinse, repeat.
c. My assistants are on guard at all times with hairspray.
d. Wake up, brush my teeth, change… Did I forget my hair? Oops! (I like the rugged look.)

3. What sound do Kalan’s curls make when they bounce?
a. BANG! BANG! BOOM!
b. Bombs set up around the site go off, and there are explosions. However Kalan’s curls are still intact – as always.
c. Help us! We’re suffocating from the gel and hairspray! S.O.S.! S.O.S.!
d. There is no sound. Curls are a light, soft, product of nature. Tranquility is beauty - therefore curly.

4. What is the difference between natural curls, and manufactured curls?
a. My hair is not a product!
b. Natural: produced by nature. Nothing else needs to be said.
c. I’M natural! All of YOU are POSERS! DIE, DIE, DIE!
d. Curls are curls. ;)

5. Who are Janet & Rick Porter?
a. The first lady and the president’s second cousin thrice removed, respectively.
b. The two who provided Kalan with the chromosomes that were needed to create curls.
c. Didn’t Rick miss Kalan’s birth? Jerk.
d. Oh, I know!! They’re related to Kalan.

6. What do Kalan’s curls say when they enter the room?
a. Just call me Hair. Curly hair.
b. Why hello. I wasn’t expecting so many.
c. Why does the idiot keep scratching? I better not have lice…
d. The more publicity the better. When we swallow up Kalan’s face, we and all other curls will take over the world!

7. What does Kalan’s autograph look like?
a. I can’t really read mine.
b. He uses curlicues! He uses curlicues!
c. I think he used a ruler for each letter. Strange, I don’t remember one.
d. Oh…let me find it.

8. What do Kalan and Justin Guarini have in common?
a. What the hell is a Justin Guarini?
b. It’s pronounced GOO-REE-NEE! The other one is KY-LON! Idiots…
c. Curls have formed an alliance, and Justin is the secretary. Like duh.
d. I don’t understand.

9. Yeah it was ages ago, but it still matters. Many are still wondering. Who did you vote for in Canadian Idol 2? Kalan or the curls?
a. Curls all the way baby!
b. There was never a Kalan on the show. I think I’d know.
c. Justin Guarini.
d. Kalan and his curls are one. So this question is invalid. Forget it. Waste of my time. So childish… *walks off mumbling, gets hit by bus*

10. Ok, last question. Is Kalan’s glass half-full or half-empty?
a. I thought this quiz was about curls?
b. What?
c. Well if he likes milk, then I guess it’s half-empty.
d. Fully curly!