May 14, 2006 - Mother's Day

Hey Everyone
Sorry I haven’t written in while. I have been so busy in the studio.
I first of all wanted to thank you all for your patience and continued support while I’ve been away writing and recording. I am hoping very soon I will have some major news to give everyone.

We are getting so close and I am getting really excited. I can’t wait to get back on tour again. I am getting a little tired of singing in a 10 by 10 foot sound booth.

Mostly today I just wanted to write and wish all of you Moms a Happy Mothers Day. I got my mom a gift but of course it was last minute so it’s still in the mail. Speaking of Mom, she is doing great. She just finished her third round of chemo with three more to go. On behalf of our whole family I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers during this tough time.

This crazy journey that I have been on since 2004 has definitely taken our family through its share of ups and downs. My saving grace through this whole thing has been my parents. They are my one constant on this unpredictable ride.

It is sometimes hard for us kids to completely understand the sacrifices parents make to raise us. At age 25 Mom traded a simple life as a teacher to become personal chef, maid, chauffeur, therapist and Naggologist to three spoiled kids. Now that I am older I can see past the picking and prodding that drove me crazy growing up, and have developed a whole new respect for my mom. I think it starts the day you begin to see her as a person. Someone with hopes and disappointments. Someone that doesn’t know all the answers. Someone just trying to do the best for her family. Someone with a life that doesn’t entirely revolve around her kids. I guess me and the girls didn’t exactly raise ourselves.

Mom would hate that last sentence. For years she has been correcting my bad grammar slowly but surely weaning out all the funners and the I seens while reminding me that she is not being like so annoying, but simply annoying. For years I resisted, clinging for life to every last error. By the age of twenty she had managed to pester out every grammatical mistake except one. Me and the girls. I may have lost many battles but I was not going to lose the war. Perhaps it was my last bit of teenage rebellion holding on, something I kept simply because it bothered Mom. Perhaps I needed it as a subconscious reminder that I hadn’t completely become a living-breathing clone of my parents.

Then it happened. It was a completely ordinary Toronto day around lunchtime and the phone rang. It was a friend who said “ Me and Sarah are going for lunch on a patio if you want to come.” Suddenly out of nowhere I heard Mom’s voice echoing inside me, fighting its way up, demanding to be heard. I fought back with everything I had, trying desperately to suppress and contain it. But it was no use. It came out “Sarah and I” I corrected.

That was it. The final stake through the heart. She had won. I was all at once filled with sheer horror, realizing that I had slowly and unknowingly turned into some terrifying amalgam of Mom and Dad. Despite all my attempts to establish myself as an individual with my own ideas and identity, here I was, an unaware apprentice tricked into doing her evil bidding. But it wasn’t just the irritating idiosyncrasies I had picked up. In fact nearly all the things I value most about myself are things I got from her. I suddenly realized that I am so completely indebted to my Mom. For everything I have and everything I am. I also discovered something else. Its ok… call me a mommas boy, call me what you want, but if I didn’t have my mom around …well…that would just suck.

So to all the “moms” and grand”moms” out there, I hope you have a great Mothers Day. I hope you know how much you are appreciated and loved.
And to my mom.

Thank you for everything. We are going to get through this thing. I love you.
You’re the bestest.
Kalan